Just a warning this is a slightly angry post. Read at your our risk. Friend by definition: 1. a person attached to another by feelings of affection or personal regard. 2. a person who gives assistance; patron; supporter: friends of the Boston Symphony. 3. a person who is on good terms with another; a person who is not hostile: Who goes there? Friend or foe? No where in this does it specify restrictions. But people have these ideas about who you can and can't be friends with. Me I say SCREW THE RULES! Why should I have to change friends because I got married? Did my friends suddenly become criminals? It is not their fault that they are single, nor mine. My close friends the people who I'd die for have all been a part of my life for a minimum of 10 years. That's a lot of things to go through together. Tons of happy times and sad times. But I should disregard all of it. The births of children, divorces, ER visits, deaths of family, falling in love and then getting your heart broken, just great talks and laughter. I should throw them out like garbage. Or only speak to them through the occasional email, text or phone call. Or maybe a casual Sunday brunch. But it's wrong for me to go out and let my hair down with the non-married girls. Or somehow after all this time I'm supposed to make an entire new group of friends, do you know how hard it is to find people who can get me? I do have married friends and I enjoy my time with them too. But I will not substitute the people who've held me up when I'm at my lowest and who have cheered me on when I'm at my highest. My next issue is why is it that people think men and women can't be friends? I did not realize that we are so animalistic that if men and women are together it has to be sexual. We are so primal that there could be no other connection. Most girls don't like other girls so it's easier to be friends with the guys. This is not the 1800's where men and women can converse about things and it's OK. I can watch UFC or Basketball and enjoy it too. Not all females do. And why couldn't I be friends with ex's? Some yes I could never be friends with. But some yes. They already know how batshit crazy I am and know my issues and can often give fantastic advise, because they survived and got out alive. And lastly! Why are we expected to have friends just like ourselves? I don't fit into a mold. I am a unique individual as are my people. I have friends of many different races, religions, class, and taste. But I guess I should pick a genre and stick with it. My own family is a blended mess of wonderfulness!!!!

Thank You for those of you who I call Friends. New applications will be accepted.

25 Random Nothingness About Me

Here are 25 random facts about me. I'm biting from my dear friend Nefertari.

1: I'm an only child. As if you couldn't tell

2: I make yummy Margaritas and Mojitos. It is that time of year.

3: I'm a shoe addict. If you know of any SA meetings let me know.

3: I like Butter Popcorn flavored Jelly Belly's

4: I have 1 tattoo, working on #2

5: I like red peppers better than green.

6: I like red wine over white.

7: Red is my favorite color. I'm sure you figured that out by now.

8: I can't spell, spell check saves my life!

9: I'm terrified of needles. I will pass out if I get a shot or have blood drawn.

10: I talk way too damn much!

11: I love to cook! Giada De Laurentiis doesn't intimidate me with all her perfection.

12: I'm distractable.

13: I can't sing. Honestly a dying cat sounds better than me singing.

14: I'm an awesome friend. (tooting my own horn) But my besties are just as amazing. Ya'll know who you are.

15: Love music. Not one style in particular. Not much of a country fan. My playlist make me seem like I have multiple personalities.

16: I can't decide between chocolate or vanilla ice cream. If I can I'll take swirled

17: My kids are the loves of my life

18: I have bad timing

19: I'd be completely lost without my i-phone.

20: I'm still lost watching Lost.

21: I'm a side and/or stomach sleeper.

22: I can still do a cartwheel.

23: I am picky! I like what I like and know what that is.

24: I like to be in control, but I know when to give in. Or make you think I have.

25: I believe in fate and chance.

Hope you enjoyed a glimpse into me.

Positive & Negative

People life sucks! OK now that that’s out of the way, accept it and move on. Not every negative can be turned into a positive. But a lot of them can, it may take creativity. I’ll point out some of my negatives and try to put a positive spin on them.

Negative: I’m short.
Positive: I can squeeze through a crowd easily. People often feel bad for me and let me stand in front of them so I can see. People think it’s cute to be short, I’ll take the extra cuteness factor. My favorite positive is, I can wear heels and not worry about “am I too tall”.

Negative: I have some stretch marks. I hate them, REALLY hate them.
Positive: But they are the result of my fabulous children, and that is a major positive.

Negative: I have thick thighs, hips, and butt.
Positive: I have thick thighs, hips, and butt. It’s nice to know people watch you walk across a room. It’s funny to know you’ve almost caused a traffic accident or two. And if the world ends in 2012 I’ll live longer than some of you bean poles, I have some extra fat stored up so it’ll take longer for me to starve.

Negative: I’m crazy.
Positive: I’m never dull.

Negative: I’m super opinionated.
Positive: I always can carry on a conversation. I can talk about something other than my hair or juice boxes.

Negative: I had colorectal cancer.
Positive: I’ve faced my biggest fear at 31. My self-importance has increased. And the biggest positive of all I’m ALIVE!

As you can tell I know that I’m not perfect. I’m seriously messed up. But it’s all about what you do with that knowledge. You can either wallow in misery or revel in the fun of insanity. I prefer to embrace the insanity.

A Kick Off to Spring

It’s about that time of year, Sandal Time. So we need to have a discussion about feet. Proper foot care and sandal fit are extremely important!

I’ll start with the fit. First if your toes or heels are hanging off the shoe, they do not fit. Your toes should not look like an eagles talons gripping a tree branch. Most sandals and peep toe shoes have a seam or some small indicator of where your toes should stop. Wearing your flip flops 2 sizes too big is not cute, it just looks sloppy. If your size is out of stock it’s not meant to be or go online and order but please don’t smash your feet in to a shoe too small or swim in one too big. If your pinkie toe is hanging off the side or screaming for help and popping through the straps, this is not the sandal for you. Put it down and walk away.

I personally prefer toes to be painted or at least a French Pedicure. If you are a painter like me, please no chips. It’s just tacky. If you are an occasional painter when you remove your polish make sure to get those little stuck on bits off too. Remove the polish that can get stuck in the cuticle. If your previous polish stained your nails a few drops bleach mixed in water and applied with a Q-Tip will help. If your nails are naked keep them clean! Also keep them clean if painted.

Foot care is a biggie. I shouldn’t have to say it but I do, wash your feet. It doesn’t stop there. If you get regular pedicures great for you and most of this is done for you. But for some of us this economy has deflated our Pedi Fund. (It’s sad, I know) Use some type of exfoliating scrub and device to remove that nasty dry dead skin. They don’t hurt you; the little one that looks like a cheese grater works wonders. Focus on the heels! After you’ve washed and exfoliated please apply lotion. An old school trick to soften feet is to apply a thick lotion, cream, or petroleum jelly on your feet at night and sleep in socks. Keeping nails properly trimmed is also a must! They are too short if there is no white, and too long if they curl around the tip of your toe.

These are not hard rules to live by. Very simple and easy, follow these simple steps and you’ll be doing all of us a favor.

Guys you're not off the hook. Make sure your feet are cleaned and groomed. Polish will be excused.