It's me not you

"It's me not you", we've all heard or used this lame excuse during a breakup, but I believe this statement should be used more often. We live in a world where most peoples attitude is the opposite, "It's you not me". We all blame others for the things that go wrong in our lives. It's much easier to blame the masses than it is to take a hard look at yourself.

If you can't keep a friend maybe you're the problem, it is not everyone else. It's easier to think they've got too many issues and they're selfish. That may be true, but turn the mirror on yourself. If at this point in your adult life if you have no attachments there's a problem.

If you can't get past date number one or two, it may not only be the people you're dating. Maybe you want to reevaluate the way you approach others. First impressions are lasting impressions.

Don't blame the cookbook because your dinner sucked, you may just not be gifted with cooking.

Don't blame the store because the dress doesn't fit, maybe it's not the right style for you or maybe some toning is in your/my future.

Bottom line take responsibility for yourself and look inside yourself more often. It's an uncomfortable process but the rewards are beyond satisfying.

This Spring I'm swearing off.....And Embracing

I know it's only February but I'm already planning for spring. As I plot things such as new additions to my wardrobe for the upcoming season I'm a little frightened by some of the things I'm seeing. This may be a year of repeats or nonconformity.

The first thing that is sworn off my wardrobe list is "Flatforms" this is a flat platform shoe. So a wedge that is consistent in thickness all the way across the sole. This shoe will do NOTHING for my short thick legs, except make them appear thick and short. They look like more stylized orthopedic shoes or the shoes that people have to wear when one leg is shorter than the other. Along with the shoe category is this boot-sandal combo thing. WTH is that? It's a sandal on the foot but has shaft up to the knee. Last year I let the ankle boot-sandal thing go but the knee high boot-sandal thing is too much! (But I'm ok with the peep toe booties)

Please explain to me the "undone, yet done" look? It's like you take time to look like you just woke up? Some people can pull this off. If I want to look like I just rolled out of the bed I'll stick to a flowing dress not the wrinkled pants and shirt. I'm all for a little deconstruction of the clothes but if I'm taking all day to do my hair, make up and get dressed I want you to see me and know I spent all day on this. I want messy hair and smudged eyeliner for a reason. I like a worn denim for casual, slouchy shoulders (mine are out a lot) a raw hemline, but not all together.

I'm embracing the 70's throwback style. I'm a sucker for bellbottoms, flowing tops and dresses and LOVE a good platform sandal (my stilettos aren't going away). I can even accept a floral print or two and some tribal inspired prints. Solids will be my standby but I will embrace the print.

Now on to life. I'm working on stopping the soda. To quote a friend the "bubbly goodness" is going to be hard to kick. But I've done it before I can do it again. Anyone know a good Carbonation Anonymous program I can join?

I will re-embrace my picky eating habits. Meat we may be breaking up again, I'm sure at some point in time we will have an affair but I'm thinking we need a break. I will never forget the good times we've had. Veggies and fruits will be my BFFs again.

I'm swearing off laziness! Time to get back to being active. I'm always busy but you can be busy and lazy. Busy lazy people never accomplish anything. I feel the need to make accomplishments not just plans.

I will embrace changing myself for the better. I will regain my sanity (what little there was). I will focus on improving my good and correcting my not so good.

Spring is a season of growth and rebirth, I want to grow. As the ground thaws maybe I will too.

Don't Hate Me Cause I'm Beautiful

"Don't Hate Me Cause I'm Beautiful" was a comment I made yesterday on my own Facebook status. It was an innocent and I thought humorous comment. But someone did not. They felt the need to inbox me that I wasn't all I thought I was and that I should take a better look at myself and not be so conceited. WOW! Obviously this person doesn't know me very well. True I am a confident woman, but not conceited. I am aware of my flaws and laugh about them instead of tearing myself down. I do have moments when I am hard on myself and the esteem drops lower than normal. I am human after all. But the people that really know me know that I'm down to earth about myself. Beauty is in the eye of the beholder. What makes me beautiful to myself may make me ugly to you, but that's your opinion and I'm ok with it. No one wants to hear me or anyone else whine nonstop about how much they suck and blah blah blah. I'm not fishing for any compliments, I can compliment myself. But when someone only talks about the negative in themselves it appears you are forcing others to find something good to say about them, find the good in yourself. At different points in time the bulk of my "friends" have called me beautiful or some other descriptive words, so I guess it must be true. I know the ultimate compliment from another woman is hatred, but get over it.
I too can go down that dark scary road of self hatred but I made a choice not to go there. I'm not ashamed of the fact that I love me some me! And you should learn to love you some you. But take the time to really know me before you insult me.

I am United Colors of Benetton!

I am United Colors of Benetton! The people who surround my life are also United Colors of Benetton. In my life there is no room for Racial or Social Profiling. This is all sparked from a conversation with a friend who has recently had to hear some ignorant statements from someone who is delusional in their own grander. I was privy to reading this persons comments and it has lit an unimaginable ball of fire in me. I will not share all of the comments because I quite honestly can't bare to speak them.

The comment of "once you go black you become a single mother". UMM I was a single mother of a white child. I also know many women who are single mothers of children of 1 race. Some are by the choice of the mother and some aren't. But should it really matter what the skin color of the parent is or is it more important that the child is happy and healthy?

The fact that I'm married to a man outside of my race doesn't mean that I try to persuade my girlfriends to date outside of theres. My dominance over my friends isn't that strong. Point in case my friend is still choosing to talk to the person who sparked this fireball. I encourage my friends to find people in their lives that help them grow and treat them with respect. I have no cares as to the race, social status or religion of the potential companion. I accept all kinds into my social circle. As long as they are accepting of a well rounded group.

I have friends that are black, white, latin, asian, gay, straight, bisexual, biracial, atheist, christian, jewish, muslim and confused. And I accept them all as they are! I will eat and drink after all equally, accept a kidney from all equally, and fight for all equally. I do have more than one friend that is different than me. Saying "well I have a black friend" doesn't mean you aren't a racist. These comments are who you really are not the fact that "I've quit smoking and am on edge" in anger often come our true selves.

One bad experience with a person shouldn't taint you against all other people of the same race. Not everyone is the same. Should I assume all Germans are Nazis, all Somalians are pirates, all Italians and Russians are in the mob? I'm part German and can confirm I'm not a Nazi! I am also part Irish and can assure you I am not part of the IRA. What I am is a human being.

Unless you are fully inbred you have no way of knowing what genetic secrets lie in your family tree. For all you know my half breed child may save the world or on a smaller scale your life. Judge people for their person not their genetics. If I punched this guy in the mouth his lip would swell and bleed, just the same as any other human being.

Being a cilvil servant (policeman) is a respectful occupation. I work in a call center, not glamourous at all but I work. So what if you work on movies and direct them. Obviously you're not that important because I have no idea who you are. Yes someone maybe able to find you on IMDB, but I don't care. If your views were leaked to others in your industry your career might be over. Your self proclaimed greatness and being a movie producer don't impress me. I gave natural childbirth to two amazing humans who both have the potential for real greatness. Does that impress you? I work five days a week to support my family, I do charity work, I support my friends in times of need, I cook and clean, I love and fight all while being involved with people who aren't like myself. HMMM sounds fairly successful to me. Maybe I haven't maximized my potential yet but that was my own decision.

In closing unless you are accepting of the human race in its entirety please stay out of my life.