Don't Hate Me Cause I'm Beautiful

"Don't Hate Me Cause I'm Beautiful" was a comment I made yesterday on my own Facebook status. It was an innocent and I thought humorous comment. But someone did not. They felt the need to inbox me that I wasn't all I thought I was and that I should take a better look at myself and not be so conceited. WOW! Obviously this person doesn't know me very well. True I am a confident woman, but not conceited. I am aware of my flaws and laugh about them instead of tearing myself down. I do have moments when I am hard on myself and the esteem drops lower than normal. I am human after all. But the people that really know me know that I'm down to earth about myself. Beauty is in the eye of the beholder. What makes me beautiful to myself may make me ugly to you, but that's your opinion and I'm ok with it. No one wants to hear me or anyone else whine nonstop about how much they suck and blah blah blah. I'm not fishing for any compliments, I can compliment myself. But when someone only talks about the negative in themselves it appears you are forcing others to find something good to say about them, find the good in yourself. At different points in time the bulk of my "friends" have called me beautiful or some other descriptive words, so I guess it must be true. I know the ultimate compliment from another woman is hatred, but get over it.
I too can go down that dark scary road of self hatred but I made a choice not to go there. I'm not ashamed of the fact that I love me some me! And you should learn to love you some you. But take the time to really know me before you insult me.

I am United Colors of Benetton!

I am United Colors of Benetton! The people who surround my life are also United Colors of Benetton. In my life there is no room for Racial or Social Profiling. This is all sparked from a conversation with a friend who has recently had to hear some ignorant statements from someone who is delusional in their own grander. I was privy to reading this persons comments and it has lit an unimaginable ball of fire in me. I will not share all of the comments because I quite honestly can't bare to speak them.

The comment of "once you go black you become a single mother". UMM I was a single mother of a white child. I also know many women who are single mothers of children of 1 race. Some are by the choice of the mother and some aren't. But should it really matter what the skin color of the parent is or is it more important that the child is happy and healthy?

The fact that I'm married to a man outside of my race doesn't mean that I try to persuade my girlfriends to date outside of theres. My dominance over my friends isn't that strong. Point in case my friend is still choosing to talk to the person who sparked this fireball. I encourage my friends to find people in their lives that help them grow and treat them with respect. I have no cares as to the race, social status or religion of the potential companion. I accept all kinds into my social circle. As long as they are accepting of a well rounded group.

I have friends that are black, white, latin, asian, gay, straight, bisexual, biracial, atheist, christian, jewish, muslim and confused. And I accept them all as they are! I will eat and drink after all equally, accept a kidney from all equally, and fight for all equally. I do have more than one friend that is different than me. Saying "well I have a black friend" doesn't mean you aren't a racist. These comments are who you really are not the fact that "I've quit smoking and am on edge" in anger often come our true selves.

One bad experience with a person shouldn't taint you against all other people of the same race. Not everyone is the same. Should I assume all Germans are Nazis, all Somalians are pirates, all Italians and Russians are in the mob? I'm part German and can confirm I'm not a Nazi! I am also part Irish and can assure you I am not part of the IRA. What I am is a human being.

Unless you are fully inbred you have no way of knowing what genetic secrets lie in your family tree. For all you know my half breed child may save the world or on a smaller scale your life. Judge people for their person not their genetics. If I punched this guy in the mouth his lip would swell and bleed, just the same as any other human being.

Being a cilvil servant (policeman) is a respectful occupation. I work in a call center, not glamourous at all but I work. So what if you work on movies and direct them. Obviously you're not that important because I have no idea who you are. Yes someone maybe able to find you on IMDB, but I don't care. If your views were leaked to others in your industry your career might be over. Your self proclaimed greatness and being a movie producer don't impress me. I gave natural childbirth to two amazing humans who both have the potential for real greatness. Does that impress you? I work five days a week to support my family, I do charity work, I support my friends in times of need, I cook and clean, I love and fight all while being involved with people who aren't like myself. HMMM sounds fairly successful to me. Maybe I haven't maximized my potential yet but that was my own decision.

In closing unless you are accepting of the human race in its entirety please stay out of my life.

New Years Resolutions

Why do people make Resolutions every 12/31 about what they are going to do and/or stop doing on 1/1? How many of us have ever kept up with these claims? Most don't make it past February.
What is so magical about the changing of the calendar? Yes it's a new year and "it's a new start", but every 6/1 is a new 6/1 too. Some of my favorite resolutions are:
1) I'm going to loose weight?
me: Well good luck with that (you need to, so do I). But have a game plan. It's a lifestyle change that will accomplish this goal. Food, fitness and attitude all need to change in order for you to effectively make this happen.
2) I'm going to save money.
me: Good luck! Again lifestyle change. People trying to bulk up the savings account can't be buying Coach bags and $300 jeans. Clip coupons, shop sales, buy non designer bags and jeans ( I know I have a filthy mouth).
3) I'm going to be a better person!
me: Umm...good luck. How do you plan to do this? Attitude change is the only way this is going to happen.
4) I'm going to find LOVE!!
me: GOOD LUCK with that one! If you look you won't find it. If you try too hard it won't be real. This one too may need a change in yourself to be accomplished.
5) I'm going to stop using profanity.
me: OK, good luck on that adventure! Hell I'm not even going to try to change that.
6) I think it's time for me to act like "a grown up"
me: Define a "grown up?" But if you feel that you don't meet your definition of a "grown up" it's all about the lifestyle changes.

I think I've successfully pointed out that it's not the change of the calendar that will make Resolutions a success but the CHANGE IN YOU! To everyone who makes a Resolution as we change from 2010 to 2011, GOOD LUCK WITH THAT! Happy New Year!

Rice is my Nemesis

Sad to admit but rice is my nemesis! I can't cook rice to save my life. I've mastered things that are 20 times more complex than plain old rice, but perfect rice eludes me!

My Blueberry-Peach Cobbler give you a warm tingly feeling down below. My Mini Meatloaves have become legendary. My Chicken Noodle soup warms your heart and soul. I've perfected Roasted Asparagus, but a freaking cup of rice I can't handle.

I can make dishes that will have you licking the plate clean as long as it doesn't contain rice. Why is it?! I follow the directions exactly, no interpretations. It's either undercooked, burned, or mush.

I guess for Christmas Santa needs to deliver a Rice Cooker to me. Maybe with the help of another gadget I'll defeat the rice!

Public Potty Ettiqutte

Now whatever you philosophy at home is that's completely your business. But when you are in public, for example at work follow some simple rules of etiquette.

1. If there are 10 open stalls in the bathroom don't go in to the one next to me. It's just weird!

2. Don't talk to yourself on the toilet. It's creepy! This includes thanking Jesus.

3. Why are you on the phone? I don't have a shy bladder, however I don't think your child's teacher needs to hear me pee. Stay off the phone.

4. FLUSH!!!!! And make sure it flushes. By all means use your foot to push down the handle, it's so simple and you can count it as 1 leg lift completed from todays workout.

5. Clean up behind yourself and wash your hands prior to leaving the bathroom. Everyone will talk about you if you don't. And that's nasty!

Following these 5 itty bitty little rules will make the world a happier place. Thank You!

Vote or SHUT UP!

Tomorrow is Election Day. No it's not the Presidential Election, but this is just as important. Whether you're an Elephant, Donkey or a Bag of Tea you need to vote. In this day and age there is no reason to be uneducated on who is running and what they stand for. If you're reading this it's obvious you are literate therefore you are capable to read up and do some research. Don't just vote for who you parents, grandparents, spouse, friends, minister or teacher tell you to, think for yourself! Look to several media outlets for information, don't rely on only Fox News or CNN or Comedy Central. Remember the media is not doing their job if you are not afraid.

The President can't do anything without the House and Senate or vice versa. One is powerless without the other. Your local government is equally important. Local is who decides how to spend your state taxes and decides if our roads are improved, schools are closed, and fights for new businesses. We are all put off by the shape the country, but we are not powerless.

Rumor has it that NC is looking to adopt a similar immigration policy as AZ. It's possible that my biracial sons will need identification to prove they are Natural American Citizen whose parents are Natural Citizens too. Ellis has recently developed his own Spanglish, and I prefer to not have to fight INS to prove the boy is American therefore I will be voting.

If you do or don't support Healthcare Reform, make your voice heard. If you do or don't support tax increases, make your voice heard. If you have a stance on gay marriage, make your voice heard. If you have an opinion of immigration, make your voice heard. Vote or SHUT UP!!

Mom of the Year?

In my circle of friends I am referred to as "Mom of the Year", however I often don't feel this way. When I go to kid functions it's like the 1st day of school, I feel awkward and don't really fit in. There are usually two groups of moms and I don't fall into either group.

The first is the disheveled frantic mom. She may have on ill fitting jeans or sweats. Often her hair is in a ponytail or not combed. Chapstick is the only makeup this mom needs. She runs around trying to keep her gaggle of children in line, she uses the fact that she has kids as her excuse for her appearance and her lack of being able to remember names and such. She looks down on you for working, for having yourself pulled together, she has forgotten that she is a person other than a mom. The only topic she'll talk about is childbirth and children.

The next is the Perfect Mom. She will have all of her hair plastered in place, no smudged eyeliner, and her clothes are neatly ironed. She is ALWAYS on time. Her kids are always neat and clean, they stand in line and follow directions. She is the mom who brings individual cupcakes or cookies with each of the children on the teams name written on them in calligraphy. Her house is spotless, you could lick the floor. She can cary on a conversation about a few more topics other than motherhood, but keep in clean and sweet!

I am not either of these women. Maybe bits of both, but I'm my own hybrid of Mom! I show up at my kids functions like a person. Friday I went straight from work to Ellis' T-Ball ceremony, I had on skinny jeans, a tunic and boots, my hair was normal and I had on makeup. The other mothers looked at me like I didn't belong there. Through out the season I tried to talk to the other moms, but I could only listen to their story about childbirth so many times. I will continue to push my son to be involved in activities but really could live without the snobby attitudes of the other women.

I'm not traditional nor is my family. I drink and cuss, I wear athletic attire when I'm going to be athletic, lounge wear is for lounging. I didn't stop being a person because I created another. I live for my kids. I love to talk about things other than my tiny humans. My kids are well rounded and know how to function around others. Are they always well behaved? No, not really, but they are kids they shouldn't be! My step-sons love collard greens, I love my boys so I take on the painstaking task of cutting up greens. It's 10PM and Aubrey wants pumpkin bread, I'll whip it out, Ellis is obsessed with tacos we have Taco Tuesday. I now know things about comic books because of my son. I really didn't want to see MSI in concert, but the girl did so I went. My kids will look clean in public, I let them develop their own self and their own look. Ellis will burst into the Batman theme song at any given moment and that's OK. Aubrey has red hair and a nose ring, she's 16 if these are the worse things she's doing, I'm doing a damn good job! My kids are socially aware, they don't discriminate, they are involved in good causes.

So yes at 4 Aubrey tried to order a Margarita instead of a Quesadilla and Ellis at 2 tried to drink my glass of Merlot by calling in Coke. The twins used to refer to other tan people as "Chinese Mexican" when they were little. Ellis will probably call you a sucker-punk, Aubrey will roll her eyes, Jaydin will not listen and Jaymond will suck his teeth, but they do it all with decent grades and by pulling their weight at home. So yes I am Mom of the Year! This year and every year! And if you don't agree I'll just unleash my brood of Kids on you!