Parent-Friend Line

By no means am I a prude or an overbearing smothering parent, but there have to be parent child boundaries. I am there to help my children become respectful and responsible members of society. I consider my daughter and I friends as well as I do my step sons, however they know there is a line of respect that they must give me as a parent. When you allow these lines to disappear you can not be mad at your child when they refuse to reinstate the boundary. In other words PLEASE do not call my family complaining about your out of control child when you alone have created the person he is. Do not complain about his disrespect and underage drinking when you take pictures of yourself and your child drinking Vodka with the bottle in hand. Do not expect my sympathy the next time your child hits you back, talks back to you, doesn't come home or shows up high. You alone blurred that parent-friend line so hard that it doesn't exist for your child any longer.
Yes I drink and have allowed my kids to sample, not chug from a bottle. Yes they run off at the mouth, but they understand consequences. They know I have the final word and in the end I ultimately control their freedom.
Be a parent or don't you can't have it both ways. But I'm done trying to fix your mess.

Holy hell it's been a year since I actually wrote a post. I promise myself I'll do better. Writing is so therapeutic and Lord knows I need the therapy. I've had so much to say but not had the patience to write it out. Some here and there enjoy my chaotic mind, and I intend to share with the world. New post coming by tomorrow. My husband will not stop yammering in my ear and allow me to think ;) Good Night!

It's me not you

"It's me not you", we've all heard or used this lame excuse during a breakup, but I believe this statement should be used more often. We live in a world where most peoples attitude is the opposite, "It's you not me". We all blame others for the things that go wrong in our lives. It's much easier to blame the masses than it is to take a hard look at yourself.

If you can't keep a friend maybe you're the problem, it is not everyone else. It's easier to think they've got too many issues and they're selfish. That may be true, but turn the mirror on yourself. If at this point in your adult life if you have no attachments there's a problem.

If you can't get past date number one or two, it may not only be the people you're dating. Maybe you want to reevaluate the way you approach others. First impressions are lasting impressions.

Don't blame the cookbook because your dinner sucked, you may just not be gifted with cooking.

Don't blame the store because the dress doesn't fit, maybe it's not the right style for you or maybe some toning is in your/my future.

Bottom line take responsibility for yourself and look inside yourself more often. It's an uncomfortable process but the rewards are beyond satisfying.

This Spring I'm swearing off.....And Embracing

I know it's only February but I'm already planning for spring. As I plot things such as new additions to my wardrobe for the upcoming season I'm a little frightened by some of the things I'm seeing. This may be a year of repeats or nonconformity.

The first thing that is sworn off my wardrobe list is "Flatforms" this is a flat platform shoe. So a wedge that is consistent in thickness all the way across the sole. This shoe will do NOTHING for my short thick legs, except make them appear thick and short. They look like more stylized orthopedic shoes or the shoes that people have to wear when one leg is shorter than the other. Along with the shoe category is this boot-sandal combo thing. WTH is that? It's a sandal on the foot but has shaft up to the knee. Last year I let the ankle boot-sandal thing go but the knee high boot-sandal thing is too much! (But I'm ok with the peep toe booties)

Please explain to me the "undone, yet done" look? It's like you take time to look like you just woke up? Some people can pull this off. If I want to look like I just rolled out of the bed I'll stick to a flowing dress not the wrinkled pants and shirt. I'm all for a little deconstruction of the clothes but if I'm taking all day to do my hair, make up and get dressed I want you to see me and know I spent all day on this. I want messy hair and smudged eyeliner for a reason. I like a worn denim for casual, slouchy shoulders (mine are out a lot) a raw hemline, but not all together.

I'm embracing the 70's throwback style. I'm a sucker for bellbottoms, flowing tops and dresses and LOVE a good platform sandal (my stilettos aren't going away). I can even accept a floral print or two and some tribal inspired prints. Solids will be my standby but I will embrace the print.

Now on to life. I'm working on stopping the soda. To quote a friend the "bubbly goodness" is going to be hard to kick. But I've done it before I can do it again. Anyone know a good Carbonation Anonymous program I can join?

I will re-embrace my picky eating habits. Meat we may be breaking up again, I'm sure at some point in time we will have an affair but I'm thinking we need a break. I will never forget the good times we've had. Veggies and fruits will be my BFFs again.

I'm swearing off laziness! Time to get back to being active. I'm always busy but you can be busy and lazy. Busy lazy people never accomplish anything. I feel the need to make accomplishments not just plans.

I will embrace changing myself for the better. I will regain my sanity (what little there was). I will focus on improving my good and correcting my not so good.

Spring is a season of growth and rebirth, I want to grow. As the ground thaws maybe I will too.

Don't Hate Me Cause I'm Beautiful

"Don't Hate Me Cause I'm Beautiful" was a comment I made yesterday on my own Facebook status. It was an innocent and I thought humorous comment. But someone did not. They felt the need to inbox me that I wasn't all I thought I was and that I should take a better look at myself and not be so conceited. WOW! Obviously this person doesn't know me very well. True I am a confident woman, but not conceited. I am aware of my flaws and laugh about them instead of tearing myself down. I do have moments when I am hard on myself and the esteem drops lower than normal. I am human after all. But the people that really know me know that I'm down to earth about myself. Beauty is in the eye of the beholder. What makes me beautiful to myself may make me ugly to you, but that's your opinion and I'm ok with it. No one wants to hear me or anyone else whine nonstop about how much they suck and blah blah blah. I'm not fishing for any compliments, I can compliment myself. But when someone only talks about the negative in themselves it appears you are forcing others to find something good to say about them, find the good in yourself. At different points in time the bulk of my "friends" have called me beautiful or some other descriptive words, so I guess it must be true. I know the ultimate compliment from another woman is hatred, but get over it.
I too can go down that dark scary road of self hatred but I made a choice not to go there. I'm not ashamed of the fact that I love me some me! And you should learn to love you some you. But take the time to really know me before you insult me.

I am United Colors of Benetton!

I am United Colors of Benetton! The people who surround my life are also United Colors of Benetton. In my life there is no room for Racial or Social Profiling. This is all sparked from a conversation with a friend who has recently had to hear some ignorant statements from someone who is delusional in their own grander. I was privy to reading this persons comments and it has lit an unimaginable ball of fire in me. I will not share all of the comments because I quite honestly can't bare to speak them.

The comment of "once you go black you become a single mother". UMM I was a single mother of a white child. I also know many women who are single mothers of children of 1 race. Some are by the choice of the mother and some aren't. But should it really matter what the skin color of the parent is or is it more important that the child is happy and healthy?

The fact that I'm married to a man outside of my race doesn't mean that I try to persuade my girlfriends to date outside of theres. My dominance over my friends isn't that strong. Point in case my friend is still choosing to talk to the person who sparked this fireball. I encourage my friends to find people in their lives that help them grow and treat them with respect. I have no cares as to the race, social status or religion of the potential companion. I accept all kinds into my social circle. As long as they are accepting of a well rounded group.

I have friends that are black, white, latin, asian, gay, straight, bisexual, biracial, atheist, christian, jewish, muslim and confused. And I accept them all as they are! I will eat and drink after all equally, accept a kidney from all equally, and fight for all equally. I do have more than one friend that is different than me. Saying "well I have a black friend" doesn't mean you aren't a racist. These comments are who you really are not the fact that "I've quit smoking and am on edge" in anger often come our true selves.

One bad experience with a person shouldn't taint you against all other people of the same race. Not everyone is the same. Should I assume all Germans are Nazis, all Somalians are pirates, all Italians and Russians are in the mob? I'm part German and can confirm I'm not a Nazi! I am also part Irish and can assure you I am not part of the IRA. What I am is a human being.

Unless you are fully inbred you have no way of knowing what genetic secrets lie in your family tree. For all you know my half breed child may save the world or on a smaller scale your life. Judge people for their person not their genetics. If I punched this guy in the mouth his lip would swell and bleed, just the same as any other human being.

Being a cilvil servant (policeman) is a respectful occupation. I work in a call center, not glamourous at all but I work. So what if you work on movies and direct them. Obviously you're not that important because I have no idea who you are. Yes someone maybe able to find you on IMDB, but I don't care. If your views were leaked to others in your industry your career might be over. Your self proclaimed greatness and being a movie producer don't impress me. I gave natural childbirth to two amazing humans who both have the potential for real greatness. Does that impress you? I work five days a week to support my family, I do charity work, I support my friends in times of need, I cook and clean, I love and fight all while being involved with people who aren't like myself. HMMM sounds fairly successful to me. Maybe I haven't maximized my potential yet but that was my own decision.

In closing unless you are accepting of the human race in its entirety please stay out of my life.

New Years Resolutions

Why do people make Resolutions every 12/31 about what they are going to do and/or stop doing on 1/1? How many of us have ever kept up with these claims? Most don't make it past February.
What is so magical about the changing of the calendar? Yes it's a new year and "it's a new start", but every 6/1 is a new 6/1 too. Some of my favorite resolutions are:
1) I'm going to loose weight?
me: Well good luck with that (you need to, so do I). But have a game plan. It's a lifestyle change that will accomplish this goal. Food, fitness and attitude all need to change in order for you to effectively make this happen.
2) I'm going to save money.
me: Good luck! Again lifestyle change. People trying to bulk up the savings account can't be buying Coach bags and $300 jeans. Clip coupons, shop sales, buy non designer bags and jeans ( I know I have a filthy mouth).
3) I'm going to be a better person!
me: Umm...good luck. How do you plan to do this? Attitude change is the only way this is going to happen.
4) I'm going to find LOVE!!
me: GOOD LUCK with that one! If you look you won't find it. If you try too hard it won't be real. This one too may need a change in yourself to be accomplished.
5) I'm going to stop using profanity.
me: OK, good luck on that adventure! Hell I'm not even going to try to change that.
6) I think it's time for me to act like "a grown up"
me: Define a "grown up?" But if you feel that you don't meet your definition of a "grown up" it's all about the lifestyle changes.

I think I've successfully pointed out that it's not the change of the calendar that will make Resolutions a success but the CHANGE IN YOU! To everyone who makes a Resolution as we change from 2010 to 2011, GOOD LUCK WITH THAT! Happy New Year!