Dear Dad

Dear Dad,

Well it's been seven years now, and seven is harder than one was. I think it's because of how challenging this year has been for me. I've faced so many fears this past year. I've thought of you many times to help me get through my troubles.

There is so much that you've missed that I wish you were here to share in. I have an amazing son who in many ways reminds me of you. He is smart like his grandfather and wants to understand how things work and why. This is a trait you also passed to me. You two would have been great friends. He loves to eat and is not afraid of any food. He even loves tomatoes just like you.

Aubrey has grown into a beautiful young lady. She also got your brains. She has a big heart but doesn't want anyone to know, just like you. She keeps me in line.

I wish I had the opportunity to tell you how much you meant to me. And to thank you for being the most loving father I could have ever asked for. You spoiled me and let me believe the world was mine. You and mom taught me to love myself and not to let anyone push me around. You taught me to love and be brave. You showed me it was ok to lose sometimes but not to give up. You were always there to catch me when I fell, even though sometimes you should have let me fall.

Because of you I eat ice cream out of a coffee mug, I don't tie my shoe laces perfectly, I want answers to my questions, I know how to drive, I am not computer illiterate, I love spicy foods. Like you I don't need to be recognized for everything I do.

I wish we had more time together or I had at least taken better advantage of the time we did have. I understand that time is not guaranteed to us and every moment is precious. There are so many times I want to pick up the phone and call you and I can't, but I close my eyes and think of you and try to imagine what you would say to me. I love you and will always miss you.

Thank you for being my Daddy!

VBS

I'm not talking about Vacation Bible School. (sorry mommy) But I'm talking about visible bra straps. We've already discussed the panty line but because it is shoulder baring season this is another topic that must be addressed!

I will let the straps slipping out from your tank go. But if you are wearing a racerback tank and don't adjust your straps that's just wrong. Bras come in many styles with adjustable straps if you don't want to spend the extra for a racerback . Or how about creating your own, it's as simple as a carefully placed safety pin or one of those nifty little bra clips. (the clips give you an extra boost too)

Please ohh please if you are wearing a halter style top or dress go strapless or adjust the straps again. We all know you wear a bra, we just don't want to see the straps showing on your shoulders. You look ridiculous! Also if the straps don't fit don't tie them together.

When wearing a strapless top, wear a strapless bra. There shouldn't have to be an explanation on that. Bra straps hanging out of a tube top is just tacky.

If you need the support of straps opt for styles of tops that cover them. There are plenty of flattering shirts and dresses for woman whose girls need extra support. Or learn the art of layering.

Rule of thumb white girls don't wear black bras under thin white shirts, or red or really any color other than nude. Flesh tones can be tricky, try to find one as close as possible to you skin tone. White and black are not skin tones. Bras are undergarments, meant to be under your garments.

To push up or not is a personal choice, but if you are over a small B or the age of 24 a bra is no longer a choice. It is a requirement.

Just a warning this is a slightly angry post. Read at your our risk. Friend by definition: 1. a person attached to another by feelings of affection or personal regard. 2. a person who gives assistance; patron; supporter: friends of the Boston Symphony. 3. a person who is on good terms with another; a person who is not hostile: Who goes there? Friend or foe? No where in this does it specify restrictions. But people have these ideas about who you can and can't be friends with. Me I say SCREW THE RULES! Why should I have to change friends because I got married? Did my friends suddenly become criminals? It is not their fault that they are single, nor mine. My close friends the people who I'd die for have all been a part of my life for a minimum of 10 years. That's a lot of things to go through together. Tons of happy times and sad times. But I should disregard all of it. The births of children, divorces, ER visits, deaths of family, falling in love and then getting your heart broken, just great talks and laughter. I should throw them out like garbage. Or only speak to them through the occasional email, text or phone call. Or maybe a casual Sunday brunch. But it's wrong for me to go out and let my hair down with the non-married girls. Or somehow after all this time I'm supposed to make an entire new group of friends, do you know how hard it is to find people who can get me? I do have married friends and I enjoy my time with them too. But I will not substitute the people who've held me up when I'm at my lowest and who have cheered me on when I'm at my highest. My next issue is why is it that people think men and women can't be friends? I did not realize that we are so animalistic that if men and women are together it has to be sexual. We are so primal that there could be no other connection. Most girls don't like other girls so it's easier to be friends with the guys. This is not the 1800's where men and women can converse about things and it's OK. I can watch UFC or Basketball and enjoy it too. Not all females do. And why couldn't I be friends with ex's? Some yes I could never be friends with. But some yes. They already know how batshit crazy I am and know my issues and can often give fantastic advise, because they survived and got out alive. And lastly! Why are we expected to have friends just like ourselves? I don't fit into a mold. I am a unique individual as are my people. I have friends of many different races, religions, class, and taste. But I guess I should pick a genre and stick with it. My own family is a blended mess of wonderfulness!!!!

Thank You for those of you who I call Friends. New applications will be accepted.

25 Random Nothingness About Me

Here are 25 random facts about me. I'm biting from my dear friend Nefertari.

1: I'm an only child. As if you couldn't tell

2: I make yummy Margaritas and Mojitos. It is that time of year.

3: I'm a shoe addict. If you know of any SA meetings let me know.

3: I like Butter Popcorn flavored Jelly Belly's

4: I have 1 tattoo, working on #2

5: I like red peppers better than green.

6: I like red wine over white.

7: Red is my favorite color. I'm sure you figured that out by now.

8: I can't spell, spell check saves my life!

9: I'm terrified of needles. I will pass out if I get a shot or have blood drawn.

10: I talk way too damn much!

11: I love to cook! Giada De Laurentiis doesn't intimidate me with all her perfection.

12: I'm distractable.

13: I can't sing. Honestly a dying cat sounds better than me singing.

14: I'm an awesome friend. (tooting my own horn) But my besties are just as amazing. Ya'll know who you are.

15: Love music. Not one style in particular. Not much of a country fan. My playlist make me seem like I have multiple personalities.

16: I can't decide between chocolate or vanilla ice cream. If I can I'll take swirled

17: My kids are the loves of my life

18: I have bad timing

19: I'd be completely lost without my i-phone.

20: I'm still lost watching Lost.

21: I'm a side and/or stomach sleeper.

22: I can still do a cartwheel.

23: I am picky! I like what I like and know what that is.

24: I like to be in control, but I know when to give in. Or make you think I have.

25: I believe in fate and chance.

Hope you enjoyed a glimpse into me.

Positive & Negative

People life sucks! OK now that that’s out of the way, accept it and move on. Not every negative can be turned into a positive. But a lot of them can, it may take creativity. I’ll point out some of my negatives and try to put a positive spin on them.

Negative: I’m short.
Positive: I can squeeze through a crowd easily. People often feel bad for me and let me stand in front of them so I can see. People think it’s cute to be short, I’ll take the extra cuteness factor. My favorite positive is, I can wear heels and not worry about “am I too tall”.

Negative: I have some stretch marks. I hate them, REALLY hate them.
Positive: But they are the result of my fabulous children, and that is a major positive.

Negative: I have thick thighs, hips, and butt.
Positive: I have thick thighs, hips, and butt. It’s nice to know people watch you walk across a room. It’s funny to know you’ve almost caused a traffic accident or two. And if the world ends in 2012 I’ll live longer than some of you bean poles, I have some extra fat stored up so it’ll take longer for me to starve.

Negative: I’m crazy.
Positive: I’m never dull.

Negative: I’m super opinionated.
Positive: I always can carry on a conversation. I can talk about something other than my hair or juice boxes.

Negative: I had colorectal cancer.
Positive: I’ve faced my biggest fear at 31. My self-importance has increased. And the biggest positive of all I’m ALIVE!

As you can tell I know that I’m not perfect. I’m seriously messed up. But it’s all about what you do with that knowledge. You can either wallow in misery or revel in the fun of insanity. I prefer to embrace the insanity.

A Kick Off to Spring

It’s about that time of year, Sandal Time. So we need to have a discussion about feet. Proper foot care and sandal fit are extremely important!

I’ll start with the fit. First if your toes or heels are hanging off the shoe, they do not fit. Your toes should not look like an eagles talons gripping a tree branch. Most sandals and peep toe shoes have a seam or some small indicator of where your toes should stop. Wearing your flip flops 2 sizes too big is not cute, it just looks sloppy. If your size is out of stock it’s not meant to be or go online and order but please don’t smash your feet in to a shoe too small or swim in one too big. If your pinkie toe is hanging off the side or screaming for help and popping through the straps, this is not the sandal for you. Put it down and walk away.

I personally prefer toes to be painted or at least a French Pedicure. If you are a painter like me, please no chips. It’s just tacky. If you are an occasional painter when you remove your polish make sure to get those little stuck on bits off too. Remove the polish that can get stuck in the cuticle. If your previous polish stained your nails a few drops bleach mixed in water and applied with a Q-Tip will help. If your nails are naked keep them clean! Also keep them clean if painted.

Foot care is a biggie. I shouldn’t have to say it but I do, wash your feet. It doesn’t stop there. If you get regular pedicures great for you and most of this is done for you. But for some of us this economy has deflated our Pedi Fund. (It’s sad, I know) Use some type of exfoliating scrub and device to remove that nasty dry dead skin. They don’t hurt you; the little one that looks like a cheese grater works wonders. Focus on the heels! After you’ve washed and exfoliated please apply lotion. An old school trick to soften feet is to apply a thick lotion, cream, or petroleum jelly on your feet at night and sleep in socks. Keeping nails properly trimmed is also a must! They are too short if there is no white, and too long if they curl around the tip of your toe.

These are not hard rules to live by. Very simple and easy, follow these simple steps and you’ll be doing all of us a favor.

Guys you're not off the hook. Make sure your feet are cleaned and groomed. Polish will be excused.

VPL

VPL is a disease I thought had been eliminated. But it seems to be on the rise again. For those of you who do not know what this is here is a quick definition: VPL is short for visible panty lines, this is when you are able to see the cut of a woman's panties through her clothing.

With the numerous cuts and styles now available I can't fathom how people are unable to avoid this awful disease. I will name a few that may work for you.

1) Thongs. The easiest choice. But some people can't find one that is comfy for them. There are tons on materials and widths of the back to try, so please don't rule this out until you've tried.

2) Boy Shorts: This is a newer option and can be tricky. It's all about the elastic in the leg opening. If the elastic is too tight it'll cut into your booty and cause lines. If it is of the cheeky variety try some with little or no elastic.

3) Briefs: Even the old stand by now comes in seamless! So for those of you who are unwilling to venture onto something new for fear of potential discomfort please go seamless.

4) None: Need I say more. Just make sure there are no cameras aimed at your stuff, I don't want to see that mess on FaceBook!

No matter the cut you go with it is all about the FIT! If the panties are too small you'll create muffin top which is another terrible thing to be diagnosed with. Proper fit and maybe a pair of Spanx will fix that. The smaller the booty the more options, the bigger the booty the lesser options. Alway check your rearview before leaving the house.

And no there will not be any examples posted.