Public Potty Ettiqutte

Now whatever you philosophy at home is that's completely your business. But when you are in public, for example at work follow some simple rules of etiquette.

1. If there are 10 open stalls in the bathroom don't go in to the one next to me. It's just weird!

2. Don't talk to yourself on the toilet. It's creepy! This includes thanking Jesus.

3. Why are you on the phone? I don't have a shy bladder, however I don't think your child's teacher needs to hear me pee. Stay off the phone.

4. FLUSH!!!!! And make sure it flushes. By all means use your foot to push down the handle, it's so simple and you can count it as 1 leg lift completed from todays workout.

5. Clean up behind yourself and wash your hands prior to leaving the bathroom. Everyone will talk about you if you don't. And that's nasty!

Following these 5 itty bitty little rules will make the world a happier place. Thank You!

Vote or SHUT UP!

Tomorrow is Election Day. No it's not the Presidential Election, but this is just as important. Whether you're an Elephant, Donkey or a Bag of Tea you need to vote. In this day and age there is no reason to be uneducated on who is running and what they stand for. If you're reading this it's obvious you are literate therefore you are capable to read up and do some research. Don't just vote for who you parents, grandparents, spouse, friends, minister or teacher tell you to, think for yourself! Look to several media outlets for information, don't rely on only Fox News or CNN or Comedy Central. Remember the media is not doing their job if you are not afraid.

The President can't do anything without the House and Senate or vice versa. One is powerless without the other. Your local government is equally important. Local is who decides how to spend your state taxes and decides if our roads are improved, schools are closed, and fights for new businesses. We are all put off by the shape the country, but we are not powerless.

Rumor has it that NC is looking to adopt a similar immigration policy as AZ. It's possible that my biracial sons will need identification to prove they are Natural American Citizen whose parents are Natural Citizens too. Ellis has recently developed his own Spanglish, and I prefer to not have to fight INS to prove the boy is American therefore I will be voting.

If you do or don't support Healthcare Reform, make your voice heard. If you do or don't support tax increases, make your voice heard. If you have a stance on gay marriage, make your voice heard. If you have an opinion of immigration, make your voice heard. Vote or SHUT UP!!

Mom of the Year?

In my circle of friends I am referred to as "Mom of the Year", however I often don't feel this way. When I go to kid functions it's like the 1st day of school, I feel awkward and don't really fit in. There are usually two groups of moms and I don't fall into either group.

The first is the disheveled frantic mom. She may have on ill fitting jeans or sweats. Often her hair is in a ponytail or not combed. Chapstick is the only makeup this mom needs. She runs around trying to keep her gaggle of children in line, she uses the fact that she has kids as her excuse for her appearance and her lack of being able to remember names and such. She looks down on you for working, for having yourself pulled together, she has forgotten that she is a person other than a mom. The only topic she'll talk about is childbirth and children.

The next is the Perfect Mom. She will have all of her hair plastered in place, no smudged eyeliner, and her clothes are neatly ironed. She is ALWAYS on time. Her kids are always neat and clean, they stand in line and follow directions. She is the mom who brings individual cupcakes or cookies with each of the children on the teams name written on them in calligraphy. Her house is spotless, you could lick the floor. She can cary on a conversation about a few more topics other than motherhood, but keep in clean and sweet!

I am not either of these women. Maybe bits of both, but I'm my own hybrid of Mom! I show up at my kids functions like a person. Friday I went straight from work to Ellis' T-Ball ceremony, I had on skinny jeans, a tunic and boots, my hair was normal and I had on makeup. The other mothers looked at me like I didn't belong there. Through out the season I tried to talk to the other moms, but I could only listen to their story about childbirth so many times. I will continue to push my son to be involved in activities but really could live without the snobby attitudes of the other women.

I'm not traditional nor is my family. I drink and cuss, I wear athletic attire when I'm going to be athletic, lounge wear is for lounging. I didn't stop being a person because I created another. I live for my kids. I love to talk about things other than my tiny humans. My kids are well rounded and know how to function around others. Are they always well behaved? No, not really, but they are kids they shouldn't be! My step-sons love collard greens, I love my boys so I take on the painstaking task of cutting up greens. It's 10PM and Aubrey wants pumpkin bread, I'll whip it out, Ellis is obsessed with tacos we have Taco Tuesday. I now know things about comic books because of my son. I really didn't want to see MSI in concert, but the girl did so I went. My kids will look clean in public, I let them develop their own self and their own look. Ellis will burst into the Batman theme song at any given moment and that's OK. Aubrey has red hair and a nose ring, she's 16 if these are the worse things she's doing, I'm doing a damn good job! My kids are socially aware, they don't discriminate, they are involved in good causes.

So yes at 4 Aubrey tried to order a Margarita instead of a Quesadilla and Ellis at 2 tried to drink my glass of Merlot by calling in Coke. The twins used to refer to other tan people as "Chinese Mexican" when they were little. Ellis will probably call you a sucker-punk, Aubrey will roll her eyes, Jaydin will not listen and Jaymond will suck his teeth, but they do it all with decent grades and by pulling their weight at home. So yes I am Mom of the Year! This year and every year! And if you don't agree I'll just unleash my brood of Kids on you!

Dating 101

I know it’s been a while since I’ve dated but is it really as hard as you make it? Stretching my memory back a few years plus recalling all the discussions with my single friends I believe you are making harder on yourself than necessary. Here are my thoughts.

(Disclaimer) Don’t get mad at me because of what I say, most of you come to me for advice anyway. I’m not singling anyone out or naming any names.

1: Stop trying to make everyone “the one”. Not everyone is worthy of being “the one” and if you think everyone is, how will you know when it is “the one”. There is a BIG difference between “right now” and “the one”. It is OK to have a “right now”, you know it’s not going anywhere either accept it or move on.

2: If you are not OK with casual/open dating admit it to yourself. It is still acceptable to be a relationship person. Some people are more comfortable with exclusivity. If you are that person you need to tell the person you’re dating, as well as if you are the casual dater tell the other person. If they are not on the same path as you, move on.

3: If you aren’t looking for a committed relationship PLEASE tell the other person and PLEASE don’t treat this person as the boyfriend/girlfriend, it confuses them. If you spend the bulk of your free time together and they’ve met and hang out with you and your friends, guess what…… you now have a boyfriend/girlfriend in their mind. Be open and honest with them up front and enforce it. You can’t pull the “I told you I wasn’t looking for a relationship”, you did this and good luck undoing it in a peaceful manor.

4: Communicate. Here’s a tip for the guys: Most of us girls will over think every single thing you say. Try hard to leave no room for interpretation. We will contort your words and drive ourselves insane.

Girls my tip for you: Stop over analyzing everything! If he didn’t say it, he didn’t say it. Guys don’t speak in code, most of them don’t speak in full paragraphs like we do but in sentences. (no insult fellas, I wish I could get my words out in a sentence.)

Most of the population is not psychic. Don’t expect your partner to read your mind. Speak damn it!

5: Lists are meant for groceries and chores. If you keep a list keep it short, 5 “can’t live without” max. You don’t like it when you are compared or put in a category, so why are you doing it to someone else? Perfection does not exist, no one will ever match all 953 of your requirements.

6: Step out of your comfort zone. If you have been dating the same type over and over again and have no luck, try something new. If you keep dating athletes and your heart is always broken, stop dating athletes. If you get flustered with Miss High-Maintenance, try a more laid-back girl.

7: Stop judging. Just because the car they drive is 10 years old shouldn’t make them undateable. If the car is paid off there’s more money to have fun with and it shows a little responsibility. Not everyone can be a CEO or a billionaire, are you?

This isn’t Rocket Science just good old common sense. Know what you want, more importantly know what you need and don’t settle for less than you deserve.

Thank You

Often times we don't take the time to be thankful for the things that have happened and made us the people we are. There are so many things that have molded me into the person I am. I'd like to give thanks to those things and people. Those of you who know me well know this will be laced with sugar and salt.

Thank you to my amazing parents. Without you I wouldn't be alive. I couldn't have been given the opportunities to accomplish the things I have in life. You could have put your pregnant 15 year old daughter on the street, but you chose to support me and help me. Thank you, I love you!

Speaking of being 15 and pregnant, thank you to my friends who were there. Thank you to the "friends" who abandoned me and chose not to be my friend. You taught me how to make new friends and how to have thick skin. Thank you even more to the friends who stood beside me and to the people who stepped up to the plate and became my friend. Those who took a lower grade in PE so I didn't have to walk the track alone, the people who continued to eat lunch with me, and the ones who went in to a panic when I was close to my due date and they couldn't find me.

Thank you to my girlfriends. You've always been there to help me pick up the pieces of my life when they've fallen apart. You've made me laugh, cry, think, you've made me realize that maybe I'm not as screwed up as I thought. We've been through so much together and have so much more to do.

To the "fake friends" I really can only say Bite me Bitches! But again you made me remember to have thick skin. Without you I may have forgotten not to trust everyone who tells you they are trustworthy. And jealousy is one ugly monster that will consume you if not careful.

Thank you to all the boyfriends, both good and bad. The bad ones taught me how I didn't want to be treated, how to stand up for myself and how not to be controlled. You only had as much power over me as I gave you, and I took back all my power. To all the good ones, thank you for teaching me how I deserved to be treated and for helping rebuilding my self esteem. I'm sure those we not easy tasks.

Thank you to my beautiful children. They have taught me the most. I've learned how to love unconditionally, how to laugh at myself, how to be silly, and to conquer my fears. Everyday I learn something new about myself through them. Because of them I learned to grow up and that everything is not about me. I now understand the meaning of sacrifice and have no problems doing it.

Thank you to everyone in my life. You are there for a reason. People come in and out of your life to a reason, you may not always understand why. Often you may never know their purpose, but there is a lesson in everyone of us.

Dear Dad

Dear Dad,

Well it's been seven years now, and seven is harder than one was. I think it's because of how challenging this year has been for me. I've faced so many fears this past year. I've thought of you many times to help me get through my troubles.

There is so much that you've missed that I wish you were here to share in. I have an amazing son who in many ways reminds me of you. He is smart like his grandfather and wants to understand how things work and why. This is a trait you also passed to me. You two would have been great friends. He loves to eat and is not afraid of any food. He even loves tomatoes just like you.

Aubrey has grown into a beautiful young lady. She also got your brains. She has a big heart but doesn't want anyone to know, just like you. She keeps me in line.

I wish I had the opportunity to tell you how much you meant to me. And to thank you for being the most loving father I could have ever asked for. You spoiled me and let me believe the world was mine. You and mom taught me to love myself and not to let anyone push me around. You taught me to love and be brave. You showed me it was ok to lose sometimes but not to give up. You were always there to catch me when I fell, even though sometimes you should have let me fall.

Because of you I eat ice cream out of a coffee mug, I don't tie my shoe laces perfectly, I want answers to my questions, I know how to drive, I am not computer illiterate, I love spicy foods. Like you I don't need to be recognized for everything I do.

I wish we had more time together or I had at least taken better advantage of the time we did have. I understand that time is not guaranteed to us and every moment is precious. There are so many times I want to pick up the phone and call you and I can't, but I close my eyes and think of you and try to imagine what you would say to me. I love you and will always miss you.

Thank you for being my Daddy!

VBS

I'm not talking about Vacation Bible School. (sorry mommy) But I'm talking about visible bra straps. We've already discussed the panty line but because it is shoulder baring season this is another topic that must be addressed!

I will let the straps slipping out from your tank go. But if you are wearing a racerback tank and don't adjust your straps that's just wrong. Bras come in many styles with adjustable straps if you don't want to spend the extra for a racerback . Or how about creating your own, it's as simple as a carefully placed safety pin or one of those nifty little bra clips. (the clips give you an extra boost too)

Please ohh please if you are wearing a halter style top or dress go strapless or adjust the straps again. We all know you wear a bra, we just don't want to see the straps showing on your shoulders. You look ridiculous! Also if the straps don't fit don't tie them together.

When wearing a strapless top, wear a strapless bra. There shouldn't have to be an explanation on that. Bra straps hanging out of a tube top is just tacky.

If you need the support of straps opt for styles of tops that cover them. There are plenty of flattering shirts and dresses for woman whose girls need extra support. Or learn the art of layering.

Rule of thumb white girls don't wear black bras under thin white shirts, or red or really any color other than nude. Flesh tones can be tricky, try to find one as close as possible to you skin tone. White and black are not skin tones. Bras are undergarments, meant to be under your garments.

To push up or not is a personal choice, but if you are over a small B or the age of 24 a bra is no longer a choice. It is a requirement.